


Pretty and Pierced

by HazelBeka



Series: 101 Uses for a Barrier Seal [10]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, Includes Fanart, M/M, mild sexual humour, seals master Iruka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26479498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelBeka/pseuds/HazelBeka
Summary: “Let me get this straight,” Kakashi said. “You lost a bet andpierced your nipples?”“Genma pierced them,” Iruka corrected him. “With a senbon. We were both very drunk.”Kakashi had always respected Iruka, but now that respect bordered on fearful reverence. He wouldn’t have allowed Genma near his nipples sober, with or without a senbon in hand. Iruka must have balls of steel – and not just the ones in his nipples.“Can I see them?” he asked.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: 101 Uses for a Barrier Seal [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/373676
Comments: 73
Kudos: 577





	Pretty and Pierced

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jessicamiriamdrew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessicamiriamdrew/gifts).



Kakashi noticed that something was strange as soon as Iruka opened his front door that morning. It had become part of their routine that they’d enjoy a lazy Sunday breakfast together, usually after Kakashi had stayed the night, but he’d got back late last night from a mission and had slept in longer than planned, so it was almost ten by the time he arrived at Iruka’s flat. Despite the late hour, Iruka looked tired, but he was a teacher so this wasn’t unusual, and he was wearing loose, comfy clothes, which was par for the course on the weekend. Yet something was definitely off.

It wasn’t until he’d kissed Iruka good morning and stepped past him into the entryway that Kakashi realised there were two little lumps under Iruka’s shirt. Iruka was clearly waiting for him to notice because he couldn’t look Kakashi in the eye and was nervously fiddling with a strand of his loose hair.

“Iruka,” Kakashi said. “Is it me, or have your nipples grown to five times their usual size?”

Iruka spluttered. “They’re _not_ my nipples,” he protested, which honestly was more alarming than reassuring. Kakashi had a very good grasp of Iruka’s anatomy and he was certain the lumps were exactly where Iruka’s nipples should be.

As an experiment, he poked one. It was hard.

“Is it cold in here or are you just happy to see me?” he asked.

Iruka swatted his hand away, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“If you must know,” he said stiffly, “they’re barrier seals.”

Of course they were. Kakashi waited for the rest of the explanation, but it wasn’t forthcoming.

“Iruka, as much as I consider your nipples a national treasure, I’m having trouble understanding why they’d need this level of protection,” he said. “It’s not because of me, is it? Three days apart is not nearly long enough that I’ll jump you on sight and ravish your nipples. Not unless you asked me to, anyway.”

Iruka rolled his eyes at that, though he was still twirling the lock of hair around his finger.

“They need protection because they’re sore,” he said, each word reluctant.

“You haven’t cheated on me with a different nipple-ravisher?”

“No!” Iruka finally met his gaze, though only so he could stare at Kakashi with impatient disappointment, as though it should be obvious why he had covered his nipples with barrier seals. Maybe to a seals master it was, and Kakashi only lacked the right kind of imagination.

“I got my nipples pierced,” Iruka finally admitted. “On Friday night. That’s why they’re sore.”

Of all the things he might have said, it somehow managed to be both the most sensible and least predictable all at once. Kakashi stared at him.

“That’s…uncharacteristic,” he said.

Iruka huffed and folded his arms underneath the twin barriers. “Look, I lost a bet, all right? I’d had a few drinks at the bar after work and Genma came in and bet me I couldn’t climb up onto the roof of the Hokage Tower and perform a sexy no jutsu. And I would have done it too if an ANBU hadn’t stopped me.” He paused to look mildly embarrassed. “Probably just as well he did. But the penalty was…well.” He gestured to the lumps in his shirt.

There was a brief silence after he finished speaking as Kakashi absorbed this information.

“Let me get this straight,” Kakashi said. “You lost a bet and _pierced your nipples_?”

“Genma pierced them,” Iruka corrected him. “With a senbon. We were both very drunk.”

Kakashi had always respected Iruka, but now that respect bordered on fearful reverence. He wouldn’t have allowed Genma near his nipples sober, with or without a senbon in hand. Iruka must have balls of steel – and not just the ones in his nipples.

“Can I see them?” he asked.

Iruka sighed and lifted his shirt. The twin slips of paper with the barrier seal symbols were tucked into his waistband, and the barriers themselves surrounded Iruka’s nipples, carefully avoiding the pink, tender skin. The piercings were surprisingly well done considering the inebriated state of the piercer, although the left was a little wonky. Each nipple was pierced with a plain silver barbel, and the effect, Kakashi had to admit, was not unattractive.

“Are you keeping them?” he asked.

“Probably not,” Iruka said, frowning down at them. “They’re not the most practical thing for a shinobi to have, are they?” He looked up and registered Kakashi’s disappointment. “Don’t tell me you _like_ them?”

“I kind of want to lick them,” Kakashi admitted.

“Pervert,” Iruka muttered, but Kakashi noted that he hadn’t said no. “Even if I keep them, you’re not touching them until they’ve healed.”

“I couldn’t if I wanted to,” Kakashi said, gently poking one of the barrier seals. “They’re the most well-guarded nipples in the village. How long do they take to heal?”

“A long time,” Iruka said, looking unhappy. “About six months.”

“Damn.” That was a long time to look but not touch. “Are you going to wear barrier seals over them the whole time?”

“I think that might be a little ridiculous,” Iruka said. Kakashi kindly didn’t point out that nipple barriers were ridiculous regardless of how long they were used for.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect your nipples,” Kakashi promised. “No one will ravish them while I’m around. I’ll be the best nipple bodyguard you’ve ever had.”

Iruka snorted and finally dropped his shirt. “Good to know Sharingan Kakashi is on the case.”

“Only the best for you, sugar nips.”

Iruka turned bright red. “ _What did you call me_?”

Kakashi grinned. “A loving nipname?”

Iruka closed his eyes. “Get out.”

“But who’s going to cook you breakfast if I leave now?”

“Make breakfast and then get out,” Iruka revised.

Kakashi kissed him on the cheek, and Iruka glared but didn’t stop him.

“Remind me later to send Genma a thank you card,” Kakashi said, and dared a kiss on the lips. Iruka only pouted more, which was practically an invitation. “Who knew his drunken antics would be good for something?”

“Maybe wait six months first so you know if it’s worth it,” Iruka muttered, and then turned and walked into the kitchen with all the dignity a man with nipple barriers could muster.

That was a promise of nipple-ravishing if Kakashi had ever heard one. He wasn’t good with delayed gratification but he had a feeling he was going to have to learn. It was going to be a long six months.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I feel like it’s been a while since I wrote about Iruka doing something stupid with barrier seals. This time it’s not even my fault. Miriam made a comment earlier about barrier seals and nipple piercings, which is exactly the sort of nonsense I joined this fandom for. I told her it would be my next barrier seals oneshot and she probably thought I was joking. Unfortunately, I was not.
> 
> EDIT - art by the glorious and wonderful [Selpuku](https://twitter.com/selpocky), posted here with her permission. She is _fabulous_ , I recommend trawling her twitter for more kakairu and kakairutenz art! The tweet with the above art attached is [here](https://twitter.com/selpocky/status/1305956292385583104?s=20).
> 
> SECOND EDIT - the amazingly talented [quess-sie](https://qess-sie.tumblr.com/) also drew art inspired by this fic! I don't know what I did to deserve this but I want everyone else to enjoy it too. The art is [here](https://qess-sie.tumblr.com/post/633075177597616128/pretty-and-pierced-hazelbeka-naruto-archive) on tumblr, and I'd recommend the rest of quess's kinktober art for more kakairu


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